The Random Pint

My drinking schedule calls for some 'random pints'... Well,what are they you ask? Let me explain.. A man can be walking home from work, thinking of all his worldly responsibilities when he is attacked by a random. Cross the road at High Street, round the corner to Cross Street, and low and behold, out of the blue, there it is. A sinister stout standing in the middle of the footpath, blocking a poor man's way. Women's bodys are made with curves and grooves and are well adapted to swerve past this random pint, but pity the poor man... An occurance can happen at any time, and is rarely accompanied by the woman's friend - premeditation. I shouldn't paint all randoms the same - there are many species; the cute wan, the shly wan, the quick wan, the slow wan... the wan with a friend, the wan watching the second half of a match, the wan with a paper, the wan to get away from the Christmas shopping... the list goes on. It may be wishful thinking that I can control these criminal porters but I'll give it a a go. Of all the year's schedule, tis the randoms I fear most...